People who are miserable love company because it allows them to complain about the things they actually can do something about. They just need an ear that will listen to their cries and allow them to choose suffering instead of healing. Some people just want to call upon you because they want to keep a piece of your positivity with them to make them feel normal. They have to say something negative about what you are doing so that they can feel good about themselves. I am not talking about those folks who are struggling with life situations and come to you to seek sincere advice or help because they value the relationship rather I am talking about those who just don’t want to see you succeed at whatever you are seeking to achieve.
Tips to get rid of those who are toxic:
1. Become unavailable to anyone who seems to always complain about what’s not happening in their life when you share the exciting things that have been happening in your life . It’s a TRAP! You are doing more harm to them when you make yourself available for their complaints. You are not giving them the push they really need to make anything happen you are just giving them the easy way out. If you care about them let them know that you are quite busy and that you think they have everything they need to find a solution to whatever it is they are going through and to pray and be patient. If you can stick in there try to help them come up with a plan to fix their situation then go for it! If they seem resistant then back off and let them be. Pray for them. God will send someone else who is more qualified. You and that person are not on the same page so things will start to frustrate you and then you may end up giving up what you truly want because they have drained you. You don’t need all of that negative energy!
2. Tune out the sarcasm – When people make sarcastic comments about your goals and dreams they just don’t believe in you and could care less if you become successful. In fact they would rather you not become successful so they could have something to be RIGHT about for their own misconceptions about becoming successful. When someone says something sarcastic and you find it hard to just shake it off say “Thank You” with a big darn smile and walk away telling them to have a great day! It’s one of those “kill them with kindness” methods that leaves that person looking real foolish when it’s all said and done.
3. Choose who you share your vision with- You are ultimately the only one who can see your vision clearly and will be the only one to see it manifested. Those who don’t believe in you won’t care about it. They will tell you it’s foolish and totally impossible. They will laugh at you and tell you what they think you should be doing. They say things like “IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SOMEBODY ELSE IS NOT DOING THE SAME THING, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME, JUST FORGET ABOUT IT, YOU’RE CRAZY ETC…
All of these comments are toxic and come out of the mouth of the toxic person. TUNE THEM OUT TOTALLY!!!
4. Beware of those individuals who want you to “play small” or “dim your light”! These folks just want you to make them feel comfortable in their fears and in their insecurities. Don’t let them do this! Be you! If they cannot handle all of that light you have coming from you then they will have to move on! Why should you compromise who you truly are just to make somebody feel good with not wanting to do the same for themselves? It;s not your fault that they want to stay in stuck mode! You actually are doing them a favor by being you because it just might be enough to give them the permission they need to be their authentic self!
5. Value yourself if you want others to do the same. You teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself!
About 2 weeks ago I started a facebook community to support, inspire, motivate and empower sisterpreneurs to MAKE IT HAPPEN IN BIZNESS!!! If you are a part of this community or have been stopping by to check us out, then you know what we have been up to lately and you also know how it has been so exciting to watch sisters transform in a matter of days! These sisters are stepping up, showing up, and shining their light! This community is not just your regular facebook group page, well at least we are all working to make sure of that.
Last week I challenged everyone to post a 60 second video about their businesses and it has just been amazing to watch each sister step into their light! Some of them are still contemplating but I just know they are gonna come out of their shell because the high energy is quite contagious! We are all posting inspiration and tips to support one another and one of the things I will begin to do are, live video posts discussing topics related to business and mental fitness. If you are reading this post then perhaps, you are someone who is just waiting for the green light/permission to step into your light! It’s time you own your talents and realize that they were not even given to you FOR YOU but they were given to you because YOU must deliver solutions to others who NEED EXACTLY what you have! Yes you have fears but those fears can actually help you move through to your success if you pay close attention and make them your allies. Know your fears acknowledge them and look for ways to overcome them. If you are not clear on how to do all of this hire a coach. We are pretty good at helping you push through and getting you to truly OWN YOUR SUCCESS!!! Plant your two feet firmly in the ground, put your trust in Allah, get the support you need, challenge yourself, and don’t even think of quitting because It’s time to move like FIYAH(Fear is Your Ally)!!!
“If Allah helps you, none can overcome you: If He forsakes you, who is there, after that, that can help you? In Allah, then, let believers put their trust.” [Qur’an Chapter 3 Verse 160]
See you on the other side of change because I no longer live in contemplation!
Your Mental Fitness Recovery Coach and Business Coachsultant,
Ukhtee Walida-Herspiring Bizness- “It’s Time”
I am beginning Mubarakah Fatologist Ibrahim‘s Fit Muslimah 40 Day Challenge!
May Allah give me the ability to stay the course and finish whatever I start if it shall benefit me in this dunya and in the Ahkirah-Ameen!
Here is how my Day 1 looks- Alhamdulilah!
So Far… Prayed Fajr
1. Dhikr- Subhanallahi Wa Bi Hamdihi 100x
2. 30 minutes- exercise
100 bicycle crunches
50 Russian Twists
50 Straight Punches
10 shoulder Rolls
10 neck rolls
3 minute face massage
7 minute “Tummy Talk” and massage
3. Now on to drinking my lemon water in shaa Allah I will drink 1 gallon today!
Let’s Get It Beloveds!!!
Check it out at http://www.facebook.com/fitmuslimah
Feel like you need some extensive fitness coaching to stay on track? Visit http://www.fitmuslimah.com
Do you know how it feels to want to achieve a goal but have to make a choice about what path to take? Most often as adults our decisions are impacted by how much money we have rather than how much knowledge or skills we possess. We also feel like there is only one sure way to get to the top because from children we were shown this approach by our lovely parents. What if there was a way to break free from the ingrained thought that the only way to become financially free is if you go to school, get a job in the corporate America arena, and WAIT month after month and year after year for those lovey PROMOTIONS? So we were told that you must crawl before you walk and success happens in stages. Well both statements are true but at the same time it denotes having a tremendous amount of tolerance for whatever comes your way while keeping your eye on the prize. Some of us make it to the top but some of us have been realizing that with all the education we have gained through Universities and all f the knowledge and skill sets we have gained from employment in the corporate arena WE MIGHT AS WELL GIVE OURSELVES A CHANCE AT STARTING OUR OWN VENTURE!!!
I am writing this post remembering my days as a corporate girl. I was granted the opportunity to enter Corporate America at the age of 19. I was blessed, All Praise is due to Allah, to be promoted 3 times within my 2 year term there. I was eager to learn and implement everything I learned! Several people realized this about me and would put in a word for me to the top executives who would then offer me a promotion. Some of these positions that I attained had some requirements that I had not met yet but I was given the opportunity to “earn and learn” as they say. I pushed through many obstacles and craved success. My point is that I wanted more and what was presented was not enough. The last position I was promoted to allowed me to really use the skills I had previously learned in other positions and my educational knowledge. I was ecstatic! All expense paid trips to other states to be a part of the company’s vision, lodging at the finest hotels, eating expensive seafood dishes, getting paid company bonuses, taking my son on all expense paid trips to major theme parks and more! Though I had all of this it truly did not give me the freedom that I craved for. I craved for TIME! Yes! was seeing my son less and less because of the demands at work and I was a full-time student at University.
There are many other women who are in this time and money ENTRAPMENT and they just want to have freedom. It can be achieved but what I found was that it is best achieved when you are the BOSS! Try to look at it this way; if you only have yourself to report to everyday then who will threaten to fire you when your child is sick and you need a few days to care for them, when you just want to take a vacation,take a few days to visit family, or just spend quality time with your spouse and children? You don’t have to give notice to anyone when you are self-employed.
Though entrepreneurship offers flexibility and freedom of time and money it can be burdensome because we sometimes get lazy but then we must have a system. I won’t go into that because that is reserved for another article but the point I am making here is that you will have to discipline yourself to GET THE JOB DONE!!! Many women have proved to be multi-taskers but this can sometimes leave us burnt out! We have to put systems in place that will allow us to leverage our time and finances. Women have been are still doing it more and more these days. Some women hire a coach to help them organize their lives and put systems in place that work best for them! I hired a coach when I started my venture as a Life/Business coach for women and found it to be absolutely necessary! Now, I know that your probably thinking… “why would a coach hire a coach”? Right? Well I will tell you plain and simple….EVEN A COACH NEEDS A COACH! They need someone who is going to keep them on task and make sure they abide by the code of conduct for coaches. It maintains the value of wholeness and integrity of the industry. We all need a system of checks and balances! Success does not happen ALONE!!!
Since this is Sunday and I would normally give statistics, I will leave you with a statistic about minority women(African-American, Native American, Asian, and other women from the Pacific Islands) “BUSTING OUT OF THE GATES” with non-traditional pathways to success in the form of Entrepreneurship. You read the title of this article! “Who Are Today’s Go-Getters?
The U.S. Department of Commerce’s Minority Business Development Agency reported that minority women entrepreneurs are starting their own business ventures twice as fast as minority male entrepreneurs- and more than four times the rate of non-minority men and women.
WAY TO GO LADIES!!!
What’s your “WHY”? I mean the “WHY” for starting your own business venture instead of waking up in the mornings rushing to get to get to that J.O.B.(Just Over Broke) position that you dread soooo much but fear losing it because it’s what pays the bills! Granted, it does pay the bills but it also gives you stress which could lead to higher costs in trips to the doctor and other medical expenses should your conditions worsen and call for it. I mean it is not just as easy as 1-2-3 to get up and say “I quit” and feel good about it because then there is that “reality check ” that will kick in when you find yourself low on food, backed up on rent, receiving shutoff notices for your utilities, with no phone service, etc..
Now here is what I am saying…You Must Have A Plan for how you will get out of that J.O.B.(Just Over Broke) position and Fire Your Boss but even before that You Must Have A Strong Why and a Clear Vision.
Email me (email@example.com) to get a free coaching session to check your “I Am Ready To Start Change” personal barometer. I will ask you some powerful questions that can help you discover where you truly are on your personal barometer and what you need to start doing to get where you truly want to be.
What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? What kind of people do you like to be around? Do other you believe others could benefit from something that you do(providing a product or service)? When was the last time you gave advice , sold a hand-made item or assisted someone in their business or personal life? How did they respond? How did you feel about their response? Did their response make you feel like you could do more and probably get paid for it? If you love what you do there is a greater chance of you committing to the process of achieving success even if it means failing more than enough times! It is your passion!
Honing in on specific needs of your clients is also one sure way to receive a decent return on investment for your marketing efforts. Take the time to identify specific problems of your ideal clients so that you are able to speak their language. When you can speak their language it becomes much easier for them to seek and discover benefits, you offer, specific to their needs. This is what is called a niche.
Specific clients need to feel that they can trust you and rely on your unique service or product to deliver the solution to their problem. They want to know that you have the best there is to offer for their unique circumstances. No one wants to buy- in to something that gives them little or no benefit.
While the economy is feeling its pains of recession, entrepreneurs and small businesses can still experience profits by tweaking their marketing efforts. Marketing can be costly but if done right it can build “stacks in the bank”. Plant the seed, water it and watch it grow!
Here are just a few ways you can begin to tweak your marketing efforts…
- Build a relationship with your ideal customer
- Learn their pain points(problems, issues, dilemmas)
- Ask yourself “how can my product or service provide a solution to my ideal customer’s situation”?
- Study your competitors
- Begin reaching out to your ideal clients , in large quantities, via social networks on the internet, seminars, meetings, workshops, etc.
- Stand out by getting recognized as a solution provider in your niche so your clients search for you instead of you looking for them
I hope that you have found these tips for tweaking your marketing plan very beneficial, however I really hope that you begin taking action to produce the results you desire! There are no results without action and no action without a plan!
Many of us spend year after year making commitments to live a healthier life. The thing that is most puzzling to me is that we start out highly energized and motivated to do all we can to move towards better health. At about week 3 or 4 or sometimes sooner than that, we just GIVE UP. I read some statistics and asked some people to found out that basically they feel like they are not losing the weight fast enough and they are always hungry.
I know this all to well because, about 10 years ago, I was impatient and always hungry when I began working out and changing my diet to better foods . It was like my body could not catch up with all that was happening and it was as if my appetite was saying “hello I don’t want to starve you anymore”! I never was a diet junkie but I loved to exercise! I used every excuse to not work out after I did not see much results. I had been 145 pounds for the longest until I was 28 years old and 190 pounds. I tried but I was not trying hard enough. This was tough for me and I just wanted the fat to all go away. I had just delivered my daughter by c-section and many people were saying it was the cause of all my weight gain. I did not believe them for a long time because after giving birth to my other 4 children I always lost 25 pounds. I started to walk more often but it did not seem to help so I started using the excuse that the c-section is what caused me to keep this weight. I was unhappy and just feeling unwanted and unattractive to my husband. I gave up! I continued to search for a routine or program that was highly energetic and motivating. I really believed that if I had that, I would stick around long enough lose weight.
Almost 10 years later I met a wonderful sister who is the founder of an online health and fitness program called Dream Body For Life. She was also the founder of a workshop called Dare To live. Both of these programs are a part of her company, Dream Big And Grow Rich(www.dreambigandgrowrich.com) and I am thankful to Allah for putting her in my life! I participated in both and it has propelled me to take massive action to reach goals in all areas of my life! Allah is Akbar! Dream Body For Life is one that I would like to present to you right now because I am on my 4th cycle and it will also be my 1 year anniversary since I started back in October of 2012. I went from a 216 pounds to 175 pounds in 9 months. Woot! Woot! I have been able to maintain healthier eating habits and daily exercise! I feel much better on the inside as well as the outside. This has truly been a very rewarding journey for me!
I would like to take this opportunity to invite you to join me, and many other women, in our journey to better and sustained health.
Go to http://www.dreambigandgrowrich.com/dream-body-for-life.html to register for the next cycle, starting September 15, 2013 and to read testimonials from the women who have been on board!
The Choice IS Yours,
Are you feeling stuck and not sure how to get unstuck?
Are you working hard but nothing is hardly working?
Are you feeling unsure if you made the right decisions (business, personal)?
Are you not sure what you really want in life?
If you answered yes to any of those questions you definitely want to occupy a seat at a teleseminar that will give you tools that you can begin using, almost immediately, to help get you unstuck and feeling sure about achieving your goals!
I am almost sure you will find clarity and begin moving forward.
Come join me and many other women who are feeling the same way as I host, Its Time-An Introduction To A Life Changing Teleseminar,for women who are ready to take their lives to the next level!. Enrollment is open now. The teleseminar will begin on Sunday May 5, 2013. Register now! Seats are filling up fast! For info on how to register go to
What is a teleseminar?
A Teleseminar is a conference call. You and other registrants call a regular phone number at specific time and you are welcomed by the host. You do not need a computer in order to be in the class. All you need is a phone. There are no extra fees and most phone service providers do not charge a fee. if you have sprint, verizon, t-mobile, metro pcs, boost mobile, virgin mobile etc… you are good to go!!!!