People who are miserable love company because it allows them to complain about the things they actually can do something about. They just need an ear that will listen to their cries and allow them to choose suffering instead of healing. Some people just want to call upon you because they want to keep a piece of your positivity with them to make them feel normal. They have to say something negative about what you are doing so that they can feel good about themselves. I am not talking about those folks who are struggling with life situations and come to you to seek sincere advice or help because they value the relationship rather I am talking about those who just don’t want to see you succeed at whatever you are seeking to achieve.
Tips to get rid of those who are toxic:
1. Become unavailable to anyone who seems to always complain about what’s not happening in their life when you share the exciting things that have been happening in your life . It’s a TRAP! You are doing more harm to them when you make yourself available for their complaints. You are not giving them the push they really need to make anything happen you are just giving them the easy way out. If you care about them let them know that you are quite busy and that you think they have everything they need to find a solution to whatever it is they are going through and to pray and be patient. If you can stick in there try to help them come up with a plan to fix their situation then go for it! If they seem resistant then back off and let them be. Pray for them. God will send someone else who is more qualified. You and that person are not on the same page so things will start to frustrate you and then you may end up giving up what you truly want because they have drained you. You don’t need all of that negative energy!
2. Tune out the sarcasm – When people make sarcastic comments about your goals and dreams they just don’t believe in you and could care less if you become successful. In fact they would rather you not become successful so they could have something to be RIGHT about for their own misconceptions about becoming successful. When someone says something sarcastic and you find it hard to just shake it off say “Thank You” with a big darn smile and walk away telling them to have a great day! It’s one of those “kill them with kindness” methods that leaves that person looking real foolish when it’s all said and done.
3. Choose who you share your vision with- You are ultimately the only one who can see your vision clearly and will be the only one to see it manifested. Those who don’t believe in you won’t care about it. They will tell you it’s foolish and totally impossible. They will laugh at you and tell you what they think you should be doing. They say things like “IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SOMEBODY ELSE IS NOT DOING THE SAME THING, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME, JUST FORGET ABOUT IT, YOU’RE CRAZY ETC…
All of these comments are toxic and come out of the mouth of the toxic person. TUNE THEM OUT TOTALLY!!!
4. Beware of those individuals who want you to “play small” or “dim your light”! These folks just want you to make them feel comfortable in their fears and in their insecurities. Don’t let them do this! Be you! If they cannot handle all of that light you have coming from you then they will have to move on! Why should you compromise who you truly are just to make somebody feel good with not wanting to do the same for themselves? It;s not your fault that they want to stay in stuck mode! You actually are doing them a favor by being you because it just might be enough to give them the permission they need to be their authentic self!
5. Value yourself if you want others to do the same. You teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself!
What’s your “WHY”? I mean the “WHY” for starting your own business venture instead of waking up in the mornings rushing to get to get to that J.O.B.(Just Over Broke) position that you dread soooo much but fear losing it because it’s what pays the bills! Granted, it does pay the bills but it also gives you stress which could lead to higher costs in trips to the doctor and other medical expenses should your conditions worsen and call for it. I mean it is not just as easy as 1-2-3 to get up and say “I quit” and feel good about it because then there is that “reality check ” that will kick in when you find yourself low on food, backed up on rent, receiving shutoff notices for your utilities, with no phone service, etc..
Now here is what I am saying…You Must Have A Plan for how you will get out of that J.O.B.(Just Over Broke) position and Fire Your Boss but even before that You Must Have A Strong Why and a Clear Vision.
Email me (email@example.com) to get a free coaching session to check your “I Am Ready To Start Change” personal barometer. I will ask you some powerful questions that can help you discover where you truly are on your personal barometer and what you need to start doing to get where you truly want to be.
When you 3D yourself you set up the arena for self doubt. What you believe about yourself becomes evident in your actions. Unfortunately we have found it quite easy to cheer for others as they climb the ladder to success but lack cheering for ourselves. Doing this often makes it harder for us to fully accept love from others.
So HOW do we 3 D ourselves?
We do this by DEvaluing, DEmeaning, and DIShonouring ourselves. It happens unintentionally and quite often for some of us. We rarely see these acts as ways that we are doubting ourselves because they are a habit. A lot of us are carrying on a legacy of self doubt that was handed down as a part of our upbringing. on the other hand some of us are falsely believing that this is the way to be and if we do otherwise we will become “Big Headed”! Either way it is what it is and unless we accept it and make changes it will block space for us to learn and grow. The price we are paying for possessing these bad habits of 3D’ing ourselves is high and may include:
Low self esteem
Ignorance of self worth
Lack of knowledge for self value
Feeling less than a person
What you get in return for your worthless investment is an unhappy and non-fulfilling life. It can have a negative effect on many if not all areas of your life.
A way to detect the ways you have or are 3D’ing yourself is to ask yourself the following questions…
Do I constantly criticize myself?
Do I allow sins I have committed to take me away from worshiping The Creator? Do I think that I am forever doomed no matter how much I repent/
Am I eating unhealthy foods in an exaggerated manner?
Am I not forgiving myself for mistakes I have made?
Am I identifying myself as a victim, failure, loser, unattractive, or unintelligent?
Am I punishing myself for not being perfect?
Am I allowing others to punish me for not living up to their expectations?
Am I cluttering my space until it sucks all of my energy and robs me of peace/
Am I repeating the same mistakes and not learning from them?
Am I being negligent in my prayers?
Am I holding on to relationships that are stunting my growth and making me unhappy?
Am I holding resentment and not forgiving those who have wronged me?
Am I allowing a tragic past to make me a bitter person?
Am I making excuses to not become the person that I believe The Creator has created me to be?
This list goes on and on but I will stop here and remind you that we must love ourselves so that we can really love The Creator and begin to receive all that He has in store for us in this life and the next.
Now take the words DEvalue, DEmean and DIShonor and remove the capital letters.
What do you have left?
That’s right! You have Value, Meaning and Honor and this is what you want to start doing consistently so that you begin actually living your life instead of existing hoping for a change. You have to be the change that you want to see in your life! Make it happen!
Are you feeling stuck and not sure how to get unstuck?
Are you working hard but nothing is hardly working?
Are you feeling unsure if you made the right decisions (business, personal)?
Are you not sure what you really want in life?
If you answered yes to any of those questions you definitely want to occupy a seat at a teleseminar that will give you tools that you can begin using, almost immediately, to help get you unstuck and feeling sure about achieving your goals!
I am almost sure you will find clarity and begin moving forward.
Come join me and many other women who are feeling the same way as I host, Its Time-An Introduction To A Life Changing Teleseminar,for women who are ready to take their lives to the next level!. Enrollment is open now. The teleseminar will begin on Sunday May 5, 2013. Register now! Seats are filling up fast! For info on how to register go to
What is a teleseminar?
A Teleseminar is a conference call. You and other registrants call a regular phone number at specific time and you are welcomed by the host. You do not need a computer in order to be in the class. All you need is a phone. There are no extra fees and most phone service providers do not charge a fee. if you have sprint, verizon, t-mobile, metro pcs, boost mobile, virgin mobile etc… you are good to go!!!!