People who are miserable love company because it allows them to complain about the things they actually can do something about. They just need an ear that will listen to their cries and allow them to choose suffering instead of healing. Some people just want to call upon you because they want to keep a piece of your positivity with them to make them feel normal. They have to say something negative about what you are doing so that they can feel good about themselves. I am not talking about those folks who are struggling with life situations and come to you to seek sincere advice or help because they value the relationship rather I am talking about those who just don’t want to see you succeed at whatever you are seeking to achieve.
Tips to get rid of those who are toxic:
1. Become unavailable to anyone who seems to always complain about what’s not happening in their life when you share the exciting things that have been happening in your life . It’s a TRAP! You are doing more harm to them when you make yourself available for their complaints. You are not giving them the push they really need to make anything happen you are just giving them the easy way out. If you care about them let them know that you are quite busy and that you think they have everything they need to find a solution to whatever it is they are going through and to pray and be patient. If you can stick in there try to help them come up with a plan to fix their situation then go for it! If they seem resistant then back off and let them be. Pray for them. God will send someone else who is more qualified. You and that person are not on the same page so things will start to frustrate you and then you may end up giving up what you truly want because they have drained you. You don’t need all of that negative energy!
2. Tune out the sarcasm – When people make sarcastic comments about your goals and dreams they just don’t believe in you and could care less if you become successful. In fact they would rather you not become successful so they could have something to be RIGHT about for their own misconceptions about becoming successful. When someone says something sarcastic and you find it hard to just shake it off say “Thank You” with a big darn smile and walk away telling them to have a great day! It’s one of those “kill them with kindness” methods that leaves that person looking real foolish when it’s all said and done.
3. Choose who you share your vision with- You are ultimately the only one who can see your vision clearly and will be the only one to see it manifested. Those who don’t believe in you won’t care about it. They will tell you it’s foolish and totally impossible. They will laugh at you and tell you what they think you should be doing. They say things like “IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SOMEBODY ELSE IS NOT DOING THE SAME THING, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME, JUST FORGET ABOUT IT, YOU’RE CRAZY ETC…
All of these comments are toxic and come out of the mouth of the toxic person. TUNE THEM OUT TOTALLY!!!
4. Beware of those individuals who want you to “play small” or “dim your light”! These folks just want you to make them feel comfortable in their fears and in their insecurities. Don’t let them do this! Be you! If they cannot handle all of that light you have coming from you then they will have to move on! Why should you compromise who you truly are just to make somebody feel good with not wanting to do the same for themselves? It;s not your fault that they want to stay in stuck mode! You actually are doing them a favor by being you because it just might be enough to give them the permission they need to be their authentic self!
5. Value yourself if you want others to do the same. You teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself!
Let’s Get Moving!!!! Now I know some of us may really be in tune with these words while the rest of us just are sitting and waiting until something major happens that gives us no other option but to MOVE!!! Like waiting to be inspired by seeing friends or people whom you’ve never met get married, have a baby, graduate college, launch a biz and sad of all death. I have noticed that people go crazy pressing the like button for all that I have just mentioned but fail to press the “I WANT TO WIN” button, which currently does not exist by the way!(smile!)
I just recently completed a 7 day challenge via facebook called “Shift Your Life” and many participated but only a few publicly let everyone know they were involved by their liking and sharing. I was challenged by 1 of my colleagues to see if Facebook was a platform that could be used to get people to TAKE ACTION and I realized something. I realized that some people caught on to the challenge right away and others caught on around the 3rd or 4th day and a little more near the end. This says to me that some people just need a lot more mindset motivation. They have all these goals but their readiness to achieve them is like finding a lizard in a field of tall grass. Their readiness cannot be easily found because they fear something. They may fear the unknown outcome of a shift in their life, success, failure etc… but it is definitely fear or simply procrastination and laziness. Notice I did not give any other reasons? Well if I gave a thousand reasons you surely could find one to attach yourself to and be content to say “THIS IS MY REASON AND I AM STICKING TO IT” but the only thing that you will achieve is a NEW EXCUSE NOT TO TAKE ACTION!!! It may sound harsh but I am a Mental Fitness Coach and I only want to see you come out winning like those football and basketball coaches want to see their guys win the championships!! You know how they start foaming at the mouth and jumping up and down on the sidelines while motivating their players! They are loud and TO THE POINT!!! You don’t have to listen because it’s a CHOICE AND THE CHOICE IS YOURS!!!
If you want a real shift you and no one else can give you room for EXCUSES!!! If you are waiting for everything to be perfect before you start, TRUST ME, you will almost NEVER GET STARTED!!! Sometimes it is in our storms where we find out what we are truly made of!!! You have to OWN YOUR GOALS AND THEY MUST ATTRACT YOU!!! If you are not ready to eat then don’t fish! Hey I am roughing it too! It is not easy AT ALL and if someone told you that THEY ARE TRULY LIYING!!!
We have to dress our minds for success otherwise our bodies won’t be attracted to it and ACTION JUST WON’T HAPPEN!!!
So Let’s Get Moving!!!! We have work to do! Out of maybe 7 participants to the “Shift Your Life” challenge ,2 have chosen to MOVE FORWARD and hire me as their coach to help them get MOVING! The challenge was only to awaken your subconscious and make you itch a little for success but choosing to go further will cause you to JUMP OUT OF YOUR SKIN TO WIN!!!
P.S. God Willing! See you on the other side of change because I no longer live in contemplation!Its not about Balance but it’s about a Harmonious Journey towards success!
Your Mental Fitness Coach,
Ukhtee Walida-Herspiring Bizness-“It’s Time”
As women in business we often find ourselves struggling to keep personal life, family life and business life in balance. We are the “Asiyyah of all trades.” Raising children, keeping the household in order,keeping up with our marital duties, keeping up with our spiritual duties, working, running a business, going to school, spending “Me” time to renew ourselves, and spending time with our loved ones and friends can be such a struggle to balance.
As a life coach and business coach for women I often hear stories that make me cringe at the thought that I can never really help them get it together. The only thing I can do is provide proven techniques/tools, motivation, encouragement, and an ear without judgement when they are struggling to achieve their goals. God is in control ultimately and that is what I make a point of to each and every one of my clients. I remind them that they have limited control and that attaching themselves to a desired outcome will leave them frustrated when things do not go as planned. I make sure to tell them that all they need to do is do their part, do the best that they can do, and God takes care of the outcome.
Particularly, in the area of business, women find themselves going nuts and losing much needed sleep at the thought that things are just never going to go right after an unplanned event causes an obstacle in their business. it just throws everything else off. They end up spending more time trying to prevent or fix the problem and less time with family and friends and even paying attention to themselves for fear of never getting things back on track in their business. I remind them that sometimes obstacles happen for good things to take place but more importantly they made need to take a break away from it all to come back rejuvenated and with a fresh mind. Neglecting everything else to get one area of your life in order can cause more disaster than expected. This work/life balance ordeal is pretty hard and we all must work day by day because it is not something you can just plan and hope to make it work only one time. You have to keep trying different methods until you find what works best for you.
Andrea Jung , CEO of Avon, says “Sometimes as a leader of a growing organization you have to fire yourself on Friday and hire yourself on Monday with fresh eyes.” I believe this is true in business but much more true to expand this thought for other areas of your life as well for a balanced effect!
My dear beloveds it would be such a pleasure to hear more stories of women taking a break from all they do daily to unwind and come back renewed! I speak to myself first!
Hujrah Wahhaj-Life Coach Motivational Speaker
Are you living the life you dreamed of? Are you pursuing you passions? Do you need assistance with how to start pursuing your dreams?
Take a moment to stop by http://www.hujrawahhaj.com where Hujrah Wahhaj,life coach/motivational speaker A.K.A.”The Queen of Motivation”, seeks to motivate you and many others to begin taking massive action in manifesting their dreams.