Get Rid of Toxic People!

People who are miserable love company because it allows them to complain about the things they actually can do something about. They just need an ear that will listen to their cries and allow them to choose suffering instead of healing. Some people just want to call upon you because they want to keep a piece of your positivity with them to make them feel normal. They have to say something negative about what you are doing so that they can feel good about themselves. I am not talking about those folks who are struggling with life situations and come to you to seek sincere advice or help because they value the relationship rather I am talking about those who just don’t want to see you succeed at whatever you are seeking to achieve.

Tips to get rid of those who are toxic:
1. Become unavailable to anyone who seems to always complain about what’s not happening in their life when you share the exciting things that have been happening in your life . It’s a TRAP! You are doing more harm to them when you make yourself available for their complaints. You are not giving them the push they really need to make anything happen you are just giving them the easy way out. If you care about them let them know that you are quite busy and that you think they have everything they need to find a solution to whatever it is they are going through and to pray and be patient. If you can stick in there try to help them come up with a plan to fix their situation then go for it! If they seem resistant then back off and let them be. Pray for them. God will send someone else who is more qualified. You and that person are not on the same page so things will start to frustrate you and then you may end up giving up what you truly want because they have drained you. You don’t need all of that negative energy!

2. Tune out the sarcasm – When people make sarcastic comments about your goals and dreams they just don’t believe in you and could care less if you become successful. In fact they would rather you not become successful so they could have something to be RIGHT about for their own misconceptions about becoming successful. When someone says something sarcastic and you find it hard to just shake it off say “Thank You” with a big darn smile and walk away telling them to have a great day! It’s one of those “kill them with kindness” methods that leaves that person looking real foolish when it’s all said and done.

3. Choose who you share your vision with- You are ultimately the only one who can see your vision clearly and will be the only one to see it manifested. Those who don’t believe in you won’t care about it. They will tell you it’s foolish and totally impossible. They will laugh at you and tell you what they think you should be doing. They say things like “IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SOMEBODY ELSE IS NOT DOING THE SAME THING, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME, JUST FORGET ABOUT IT, YOU’RE CRAZY ETC…
All of these comments are toxic and come out of the mouth of the toxic person. TUNE THEM OUT TOTALLY!!!

4. Beware of those individuals who want you to “play small” or “dim your light”! These folks just want you to make them feel comfortable in their fears and in their insecurities. Don’t let them do this! Be you! If they cannot handle all of that light you have coming from you then they will have to move on! Why should you compromise who you truly are just to make somebody feel good with not wanting to do the same for themselves? It;s not your fault that they want to stay in stuck mode! You actually are doing them a favor by being you because it just might be enough to give them the permission they need to be their authentic self!

5. Value yourself if you want others to do the same. You teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself!

Let’s Get Moving!

make-things-happen-imageLet’s Get Moving!!!! Now I know some of us may really be in tune with these words while the rest of us just are sitting and waiting until something major happens that gives us no other option but to MOVE!!! Like waiting to be inspired by seeing friends or people whom you’ve never met get married, have a baby, graduate college, launch a biz and sad of all death. I have noticed that people go crazy pressing the like button for all that I have just mentioned but fail to press the “I WANT TO WIN” button, which currently does not exist by the way!(smile!)win-win

I just recently completed a 7 day challenge via facebook called “Shift Your Life” and many participated but only a few publicly let everyone know they were involved by their liking and sharing. I was challenged by 1 of my colleagues to see if Facebook was a platform that could be used to get people to TAKE ACTION and I realized something. I realized that some people caught on to the challenge right away and others caught on around the 3rd or 4th day and a little more near the end. This says to me that some people just need a lot more mindset motivation. They have all these goals but their readiness to achieve them is like finding a lizard in a field of tall grass. Their readiness cannot be easily found because they fear something. They may fear the unknown outcome of a shift in their life, success, failure etc… but it is definitely fear or simply procrastination and laziness. Notice I did not give any other reasons? Well if I gave a thousand reasons you surely could find one to attach yourself to and be content to say “THIS IS MY REASON AND I AM STICKING TO IT” but the only thing that you will achieve is a NEW EXCUSE NOT TO TAKE ACTION!!! It may sound harsh but I am a Mental Fitness Coach and I only want to see you come out winning like those football and basketball coaches want to see their guys win the championships!! You know how they start foaming at the mouth and jumping up and down on the sidelines while motivating their players! They are loud and TO THE POINT!!! You don’t have to listen because it’s a CHOICE AND THE CHOICE IS YOURS!!!

If you want a real shift you and no one else can give you room for EXCUSES!!! If you are waiting for everything to be perfect before you start, TRUST ME, you will almost NEVER GET STARTED!!! Sometimes it is in our storms where we find out what we are truly made of!!! You have to OWN YOUR GOALS AND THEY MUST ATTRACT YOU!!! If you are not ready to eat then don’t fish! Hey I am roughing it too! It is not easy AT ALL and if someone told you that THEY ARE TRULY LIYING!!!

We have to dress our minds for success otherwise our bodies won’t be attracted to it and ACTION JUST WON’T HAPPEN!!!
So Let’s Get Moving!!!! We have work to do! Out of maybe 7 participants to the “Shift Your Life” challenge ,2 have chosen to MOVE FORWARD and hire me as their coach to help them get MOVING! The challenge was only to awaken your subconscious and make you itch a little for success but choosing to go further will cause you to JUMP OUT OF YOUR SKIN TO WIN!!!

P.S. God Willing! See you on the other side of change because I no longer live in contemplation!Its not about Balance but it’s about a Harmonious Journey towards success!
nothing-changes

Your Mental Fitness Coach,
Ukhtee Walida-Herspiring Bizness-“It’s Time”

Be Pro ACTIVE!!!

be-proactive

Are you a reactive or proactive person? Let me give you a brief background of both. To be reactive it means that you wait for life to happen. When an event occurs then you scurry and run wild like a chicken without a head chicken31 trying to fix whatever has gone wrong in hopes that it will not happen again! Sooner than you think you are back at doing the same thing you hoped not to do and it has become repetitive and frustrating! You don’t bother to plan accordingly you just wait and hope. On the other hand,to be proactive it means that you think about what you can do about situations by studying patterns.Patterns are apparent when you are focused and determined. For example,in the past you may have driven your car until it was empty on gas just thinking you could go just a few more miles.Your car was always running out of gas often and you were always getting stuck on the road and having to call someone for help. You did this quite often and heard others repeatedly say “you need to get it together”. You even thought, “there is nothing I can really do about it”! That was the reactive side of you! 7ebf9b10103c4fc3a36c62771b11f3f2Now to make the switch to being proactive you may realize that there was a pattern involved with how you dealt with the situation and the outcome was always undesirable. Your speech now is “I will figure out a way to keep my car filled with gas by filling my tank on Sundays and put at least $20 in the tank every Thursday so I won’t have to worry about running out of gas”. You even take it a step further by budgeting $60 a week for gas and put the money aside just for that. You have a plan in place and not just one plan but maybe two or three. You anticipate what will occur, to some degree, and plan according to the outcome you desire. Now we know that we do not have total control over any outcome but as a proactive person you seek the one that makes sense and put forth your best effort and put your trust in Allah because He has total control.

You see, being proactive means you take full responsiblity for what happens to you. Simply put, YOU MAKE LIFE HAPPEN FOR YOU! You don’t sit around finding excuses to stay stuck in situations and blame others for what happens or what goes wrong. You know that only you can truly plan and take action to change ypur circumstances. You are not choosing to complain, but willing to TAKE ACTION to make your situation better.

Here are a few questions you may want to take a close look at when shifting from a reactive life to one that is proactive.
How do you view the world around you?
Do you easily become annoyed with situations beyond your control?
Do you believe that you are responsible for what happens to others?
Do you think you are responsible for what happens to you?
Are you willing to give up worrying about things that you have no control over?
What can you do in your life that would bring about change?
When are you willing to start?
Who can you trust to help hold you accountable?
Am I willing to get help when needed?
Am I willing to “keep on keepng on” when I get stuck instead of giving up?

make-things-happen

HB’S Sunday Statistics: SHE IS A GO- GETTER!

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Do you know how it feels to want to achieve a goal but have to make a choice about what path to take? Most often as adults our decisions are impacted by how much money we have rather than how much knowledge or skills we possess. We also feel like there is only one sure way to get to the top because from children we were shown this approach by our lovely parents. What if there was a way to break free from the ingrained thought that the only way to become financially free is if you go to school, get a job in the corporate America arena, and WAIT month after month and year after year for those lovey PROMOTIONS? So we were told that you must crawl before you walk and success happens in stages. Well both statements are true but at the same time it denotes having a tremendous amount of tolerance for whatever comes your way while keeping your eye on the prize. Some of us make it to the top but some of us have been realizing that with all the education we have gained through Universities and all f the knowledge and skill sets we have gained from employment in the corporate arena WE MIGHT AS WELL GIVE OURSELVES A CHANCE AT STARTING OUR OWN VENTURE!!!

I am writing this post remembering my days as a corporate girl. I was granted the opportunity to enter Corporate America at the age of 19. I was blessed, All Praise is due to Allah, to be promoted 3 times within my 2 year term there. I was eager to learn and implement everything I learned! Several people realized this about me and would put in a word for me to the top executives who would then offer me a promotion. Some of these positions that I attained had some requirements that I had not met yet but I was given the opportunity to “earn and learn” as they say. I pushed through many obstacles and craved success. My point is that  I wanted more and what was presented was not enough. The last position I was promoted to allowed me to really use the skills I had previously learned in other positions and my educational knowledge. I was ecstatic! All expense paid trips to other states to be a part of the company’s vision, lodging at the finest hotels, eating expensive seafood dishes, getting paid company bonuses,  taking my son on all expense paid trips to major theme parks and more! Though I had all of this it truly did not give me the freedom that I craved for. I craved for TIME! Yes!  was seeing my son less and less because of the demands at work and I was a full-time student at University.

There are many other women who are in this time and money ENTRAPMENT and they just want to have freedom. It can be achieved but what I found was that it is best achieved when you are the BOSS! Try to look at it this way; if you only have yourself to report to everyday then who will threaten to  fire you when your child is sick and you need a few days to care for them, when you just want to take a vacation,take a few days to visit family, or just spend quality time with your spouse and children? You don’t have to give notice to anyone when you are self-employed.

Though entrepreneurship offers flexibility and freedom of time and money it can be burdensome because we sometimes get lazy but then we must have a system. I won’t go into that because that is reserved for another article but the point I am making here is that you will have to discipline yourself to GET THE JOB DONE!!! Many women have proved to be multi-taskers but this can sometimes leave us burnt out! We have to put systems in place that will allow us to leverage our time and finances.  Women have been are still doing it more and more these days. Some women hire a coach to help them organize their lives and put systems in place that work best for them! I hired a coach when I started my venture as a Life/Business coach for women and found it to be absolutely necessary! Now, I know that your probably thinking… “why would a coach hire a coach”? Right? Well I will tell you plain and simple….EVEN A COACH NEEDS A COACH! They need someone who is going to keep them on task and make sure they abide by the code of conduct for coaches. It maintains the value of wholeness and integrity of the industry. We all need a system of checks and balances! Success does not happen ALONE!!!

Since this is Sunday and I would normally give statistics, I will leave you with a statistic about minority women(African-American, Native American, Asian, and other women from the Pacific Islands)  “BUSTING OUT OF THE GATES” with non-traditional pathways to success in the form of Entrepreneurship. You read the title of this article! “Who Are Today’s Go-Getters?

The U.S. Department of Commerce’s Minority Business Development Agency reported that minority women entrepreneurs are starting their own business ventures twice as fast as minority male entrepreneurs- and more than four times the rate of non-minority men and women.

WAY TO GO LADIES!!!

An Ideal Day By Design?

 

imagine

Yes! You read it correctly! Wouldn’t you just love to live your dreams? How about getting what’s in your head on to paper and watching it unfold right before your eyes? This is what an ideal day by design looks like!  Most of us, who’s pet peeve is wrapped around having more productive days, would benefit greatly from drafting an ideal day. We want to know that we are using our time wisely and benefiting instead of letting the hours roll by day in and day out.

Let’s take a crash course in designing your ideal day!

Step 1. Grab a  journal and a pen (set a timer for 15 minutes)

Step 2. Find a quiet place where you can relax and let your mind flow

Step 3. Say a dua(prayer) that will keep you at ease and ask God to grant you ease in the task you are about to do.

Step 4. Begin writing what time of the day you are most enthusiastic, energized, motivated and ready to “give it all you got”

Step 5. Think and write about your habits in regards to your family , career, personal, and spiritual life.

Step 6. Write exactly what your ideal day feels, sounds, and looks like. Be specific ! You want to be ale to notice it when it really does happen!
Here are a few questions to ask yourself as you get started!

What is my ideal day?

How would I like to see my deal day unfold?

What am I wearing?

Where am I?

What am I doing?

Who is there with me?

Do I need help? Who is helping me?

Why do I want to do what I am doing?

How do I feel?

What do I want?

Continue writing without worrying about mistakes in mechanical or grammatical errors! Let your mind flow and embrace this moment. You will be surprised at what your imagination holds! We spend time imagining things often and hardly write or talk about it, Maybe what we hold in our amazing minds can be of help to someone or to ourselves, and we will never really know unless we “get it out of our heads” and on paper. Having it on paper helps us to formalize it and make plans to achieve it.

Draft your ideal day for 15 minutes daily and put it where you have easy access to it. Look at it often and watch the change that begins to take place!

 

 

What Does Success Mean To You?

muslim biz

There are so many ways to define success but it seems everyone agrees with the one way, for sure! This one way is acquiring massive WEALTH or simply having extraordinary amounts of MONEY! I am sure that most of us agree with the fact that, without money it is very difficult to even attain the basic necessities needed to live daily. How many times have you noticed that money is getting tighter around the third week of the month and along with that one of your children need new shoes or some clothing? If you are like me you had to figure out a way to buy what your child needed at a cheaper price to make the money stretch for other necessities such as groceries, car insurance, utility bills,toiletries, food, etc… I have to tell you that a large percentage of the United States Population are in the “same boat” as you and I!  Some of us sink while others float and the rest just swim to the other side!

What if I told that I might possibly know of some ways you could become successful with or without money in your hands directly? Would you allow me 2 hours of your time to share some profit making practices that will easily fill your purses and bank accounts? The only required materials are a pen and paper! Yes! You will be amazed at all that I will share with you because most of what I will share will be things you already know but have not found a way to use them as leverage to achieve the success you desire in your biz and in your life, period!

Here are a just 3 ways to get you started and the rest I will share with you at my “People Bring Profits” seminar in New York in January 2014.

*Believe that you can be successful!

* Start investing in your success!(no room for being cheap)

* Believe that your success has nothing to do with “lucking out”, God is in control and you just need to do your part!

My final remarks in reference to defining success is that I hope you will come to know that acquiring a lot of money DOES NOT make you successful but it is more about WHO YOU BECOME as an individual and HOW you SHARE what you know with others.

Look out for details, coming soon, about my “People Bring Profits” seminar in January 2014!