Get Rid of Toxic People!

People who are miserable love company because it allows them to complain about the things they actually can do something about. They just need an ear that will listen to their cries and allow them to choose suffering instead of healing. Some people just want to call upon you because they want to keep a piece of your positivity with them to make them feel normal. They have to say something negative about what you are doing so that they can feel good about themselves. I am not talking about those folks who are struggling with life situations and come to you to seek sincere advice or help because they value the relationship rather I am talking about those who just don’t want to see you succeed at whatever you are seeking to achieve.

Tips to get rid of those who are toxic:
1. Become unavailable to anyone who seems to always complain about what’s not happening in their life when you share the exciting things that have been happening in your life . It’s a TRAP! You are doing more harm to them when you make yourself available for their complaints. You are not giving them the push they really need to make anything happen you are just giving them the easy way out. If you care about them let them know that you are quite busy and that you think they have everything they need to find a solution to whatever it is they are going through and to pray and be patient. If you can stick in there try to help them come up with a plan to fix their situation then go for it! If they seem resistant then back off and let them be. Pray for them. God will send someone else who is more qualified. You and that person are not on the same page so things will start to frustrate you and then you may end up giving up what you truly want because they have drained you. You don’t need all of that negative energy!

2. Tune out the sarcasm – When people make sarcastic comments about your goals and dreams they just don’t believe in you and could care less if you become successful. In fact they would rather you not become successful so they could have something to be RIGHT about for their own misconceptions about becoming successful. When someone says something sarcastic and you find it hard to just shake it off say “Thank You” with a big darn smile and walk away telling them to have a great day! It’s one of those “kill them with kindness” methods that leaves that person looking real foolish when it’s all said and done.

3. Choose who you share your vision with- You are ultimately the only one who can see your vision clearly and will be the only one to see it manifested. Those who don’t believe in you won’t care about it. They will tell you it’s foolish and totally impossible. They will laugh at you and tell you what they think you should be doing. They say things like “IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SOMEBODY ELSE IS NOT DOING THE SAME THING, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME, JUST FORGET ABOUT IT, YOU’RE CRAZY ETC…
All of these comments are toxic and come out of the mouth of the toxic person. TUNE THEM OUT TOTALLY!!!

4. Beware of those individuals who want you to “play small” or “dim your light”! These folks just want you to make them feel comfortable in their fears and in their insecurities. Don’t let them do this! Be you! If they cannot handle all of that light you have coming from you then they will have to move on! Why should you compromise who you truly are just to make somebody feel good with not wanting to do the same for themselves? It;s not your fault that they want to stay in stuck mode! You actually are doing them a favor by being you because it just might be enough to give them the permission they need to be their authentic self!

5. Value yourself if you want others to do the same. You teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself!

To Do or Not To Do!


Many of us become overwhelmed at the thought of organizing and writing down our daily/weekly/monthly tasks and give in to just trying to remember what we have to do in our minds. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! If you are like me, that just doesn’t work for very long. You start to rely too much on your poor brain and your brain begins to fail you making you forget all the necessary and important tasks that you needed to complete. When this happens constantly it begins to play upon your emotions and you start becoming discouraged and dis-empowered to really take action towards achieving your goals. In some cases people have reported that they just feel like they are a failure because they may have missed so many opportunities to grow their business due to their forgetfulness. They were supposed to meet with the owner of a company that they really wanted to network with because they saw an opportunity. They made the call wrote down the date to meet with the CEO and when the day came they were out having lunch with a colleague when they realized they had an appointment. They realize that it is too late and fear calling to apologize so they end up “throwing the towel in” and beating themselves up for not remembering that they had a very important appointment.

Don’t give up just yet! You are among many who want to just remember what they have to do instead of writing it down. We live in an age of technology and hardly anyone creates to do lists the old fashioned way. Grab your phone or laptop and try one of these 5 apps to help you get your to-do list going;
1. GOOGLE KEEP
https://keep.google.com/
2.ANY.DO
http://www.any.do/anydo
3. WUNDERLIST
http://wunderlist.com/
4. TODOIST
http://todoist.com/
5. HABITRPG
https://habitrpg.com/static/front

If you really are just into writing things down then I suggest you start using sticky notes. I have found it to be just as effective as going digital!

Side Note: When you complete your to-do’s in a timely fashion it boosts your self confidence and propels you to take more ACTION!

Relationships and Solutions=More Business

building-relationshipsProspecting is definitely a game of numbers. You must constantly reach out to new potential clients to ensure you are closing enough business every month. According to research, if you are not closing at least one new client monthly, then you are not reaching out to enough people! Don’t just reach out to anyone! Know who your potential client is. Build a relationship with them and get to know them before you try to figure out what problems they may have, real or perceived, that you are ready to provide a solution for? My experience is that the more you try to connect with people the more they will open up to you. They will tell you their problems if you just listen.

There are two factors that must exist in order to move your prospects to the side of clients and they are relationship building and problem solving.  I touched a little on relationship building above. You must also have unique solutions in the opportunities you present to your prospects.  Your prospects have to feel that you are personally offering them the solution they need to fix their pain. Don’t view pain as something negative but know that it is inevitable on all levels and that the prospect who has chosen to not suffer their pain is actively looking to buy a solution. You are not selling your product or service , you are selling solutions. Think, “I sell solutions”, and you will gain more clients. In business it is wise to list what pain points your potential clients may have. Pain points are those situations or problems whether real or perceived that your potential clients find hard to cope with and surely need a way out.  They are searching for solutions to solve their pain points.

A few years agoi, when I started out in my coaching business, I had a client in Dubai that was a Doula . Her goal was to start her own practice instead of working for someone else . We chatted for hours via facebook messenger and then for a few days more before she actually became my client. I was building a relationship with her so that she would not only open up to me but with hopes that I could get her from where she was to exactly where she wanted to be. I needed her to be completely honest with herself more than anything. I also needed to hear where she might need help. I was not quite ready to jump into any coaching until i understood more about her goals and any obstacles she may have been facing. I would ask her a lot of self discovery questions and questions about her goals. I asked her how she thought a life coach could be of help in her journey to achieve her goal of starting her own Doula practice.  She was a little reluctant at first but I pointed her in the direction of others who became successful after hiring a life coach and she was sold! I told her exactly what to expect from my end and she nearly cried, typing emojis with tears! We began our coaching relationship right away! Now that she was my client I really poured into her! I simply asked her what were some real situations in which a woman would need a Doula and how she could uniquely provide the solutions. I asked her to describe a real scenario and provide a real solution. After doing some research to find out why pregnant women would hire a Doula, starting a support group for pregnant women, surveying a few pregnant women in her  current job and in her community, and tapping into her own experiences, she immediately and clearly realized that she had to see herself in business as a provider of solutions. This lead to messaging sometimes at 2 am to let me know that she was gaining new clients and felt so relieved and excited! She mentioned that they felt very comfortable and would stay in her office for very long periods of time, causing her to get home later than expected! Well I did not want her to continue getting home late and missing out on her family time, since she was a new mother, so I also took the opportunity to engage her in some time management activities. I was determined to offer her solutions in all areas of her life. I was simply suggesting ways for her to improve and move towards where she truly wanted to be. The relationship went well and she is now in her own practice. I have not heard from her since 2 years ago but  I hope all is good.

It is my hope that you truly realized how I practiced relationship building and problem solving to get my client from suspect, to prospect, to eventually being my client and how I uniquely suggested that she practice the same method in gaining clients of her own.

 

Try to learn your customer in terms of the Pain Points they may be experiencing. Recognize these Pain Points by asking questions and carefully listening. Here are a few ideas:

  • Imagine a day in the life of your potential client
    What problem does your product or service uniquely address?
  • Ask current your current clients about their lifestyles and goals
    How do they actually perceive themselves or how satisfied are they with their lives?
  • Ask customers what empowers them – and what doesn’t.
    Find out what your potential client is really in need of
  • What is the true source of  your potential client’s pain?
    Sometimes, you’ll will have to read between the lines and listen past the impulsive requests
  • What potential client will see the most value in having pain removed?
    These will be your committed clients
  • Who will ultimately buy your solution?
    The end user of your product/service is not always the one who pays! Some examples are Children/ Parents or Teacher/Student

P.S. See you on the other side of change because I no longer live in contemplation!

Ukhtee Walida- Your Mental Fitness and Business Coach

Move Like FIYA(Fear is Your Ally)!!!

fearAbout 2 weeks ago I started a facebook community to support, inspire, motivate and empower sisterpreneurs to MAKE IT HAPPEN IN BIZNESS!!! If you are a part of this community or have been stopping by to check us out, then you know what we have been up to lately and you also know how it has been so exciting to watch sisters transform in a matter of days! These sisters are stepping up, showing up, and shining their light! This community is not just your regular facebook group page, well at least we are all working to make sure of that.

Last week I challenged everyone to post a 60 second video about their businesses and it has just been amazing to watch each sister step into their light! Some of them are still contemplating but I just know they are gonna come out of their shell because the high energy is quite contagious! We are all posting inspiration and tips to support one another and one of the things I will begin to do are, live video posts discussing topics related to business and mental fitness. If you are reading this post then perhaps, you are someone who is just waiting for the green light/permission to step into your light! It’s time you own your talents and realize that they were not even given to you FOR YOU but they were given to you because YOU must deliver solutions to others who NEED EXACTLY what you have! Yes you have fears but those fears can actually help you move through to your success if you pay close attention and make them your allies. Know your fears acknowledge them and look for ways to overcome them. If you are not clear on how to do all of this hire a coach. We are pretty good at helping you push through and getting you to truly OWN YOUR SUCCESS!!! Plant your two feet firmly in the ground, put your trust in Allah, get the support you need, challenge yourself, and don’t even think of quitting because It’s time to move like FIYAH(Fear is Your Ally)!!!

“If Allah helps you, none can overcome you: If He forsakes you, who is there, after that, that can help you? In Allah, then, let believers put their trust.” [Qur’an Chapter 3 Verse 160]

See you on the other side of change because I no longer live in contemplation!

Your Mental Fitness Recovery Coach and Business Coachsultant,
Ukhtee Walida-Herspiring Bizness- “It’s Time”

5 Ways to a More Positive Mind

think-positiveNow I am sure you have experienced many ups and downs as you journey through your valley of becoming successful in business. Let’s Face It!!!! You know that it can be so overwhelming to the point you may even feel like quitting!!! Your eyes are swollen from staying up late at night, your head is bulging with pain from trying to strategize all night, your fingers are probably tired of you banging on your keyboard searching for ways to just get ahead, or you have this feeling in your gut that you just are not cut out for all of this entrepreneur stuff! You may even decide that you have wasted a lot of valuable time doing all that you have done so far!

Let me share something with you before you decide to arch your eyebrows and clinch your fists in rage because nothing seems to be going right or you cannot reach your desired goals in business. I had an idea to do just what I am doing about 6 years ago while suffering from emotional abuse in a toxic marriage. Why am I sharing this with you and how does this have anything to do with ways to stay positive as an entrepreneur? Well I will let you know that I had spent many nights crying to The Creator about how I just hated my situation so much I wanted to die and that I needed a clear way to come up from the extreme low that I was feeling daily. Now you might wonder how I decided that starting a business would be my way to freedom but that is no big mystery.

I knew that I was feeling like crap everyday and that the last ten years of my life at that point were filled with misery upon misery. I just wanted to help other women move through their misery and I thought by helping them I would heal myself as well. It started out as a business helping others in business but then I realized I had more of a natural way of helping women overcome misery in their personal lives. This is what led me to become a Life Coach and eventually a Mental Fitness Recovery Coach. I knew that if I could empower these women who shared a similar background with me to want to be in a better place mentally, emotionally and spiritually they would not feel so bankrupt. I also knew after two years of working with them that they also needed to be financially stable to feel strong enough to make changes to their lives. Money is not everything but it is a means to have access to so much. This is why I went on to become Certified as a Business Coach. The point is that I would not have ever been able to do any of this if I maintained a negative state of mind day in and day out. I had to turn in my victim card and put on my SURVIVOR GARMENTS because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. You see you find your strength in your storms and it is wise if you use them to take advantage of the many opportunities that are around you.

Okay I have shared with you some of what I went through to become who I am today and now I would like to share with you the ways I had to stay positive in my journey in order to get there. I struggle hard to practice these ways of being positive as much as I can because it is possible to have a relapse if I don’t!

1). Follow Your Inner GPS to Joy– Realize what makes you joyful and do just that. Keep Ask yourself “What makes me feel joy?” I had to dig deep because I had lost myself through all of my unhappiness but I arrived at some beautiful things that make me feel joy and I try to do them often.

2). Manage your stress- It is all about how you carry your burdens rather than the weight of them. God does not give us anything we cannot bear. He is The Creator and He knows what we can handle so remember that the load is not there to harm you but there is some wisdom in it. We just need to ask for the way to handle it and be patient at it’s onset. Strategies to relieve stress are plentiful so you have to find what works best for you and do it often. (Reading, Drawing, Taking a long bath with some essential oils, Foot soak etc…)

3). Know where you are going and STAY THE COURSE!- When you have goals in place it becomes easier to achieve success. Be consistent, stay motivated, Don’t Give Up!!! It’s just that simple!

4). Get right back up after falling and don’t look back!- Yes sometimes you will win and sometimes you will fail  but be prepared knowing that the only way to truly make a home run is to fall a couple of times and get back up! It is in the getting back up that you will find your way to success. Persistence and Consistence. Keep moving despite your obstacles in business. You have to want this bad enough to lose a little along the way!! Sometimes you have to get a setback but know that it is only temporary and you should set yourself up for a strong comeback!

5).“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn, American entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker

Yes it is important to know that if you spend time with people who are either moving in the same direction you are moving or are where you want to be you will move closer to your success in a much quicker and less stressful way. You can’t hang with people that complain all day but do nothing about their circumstances  if you want to make a real shift in your circumstances. You want success hang with successful people!

I only hope this article helps you to realize how important it is to have a positive mindset.. It has been reported that people like us, entrepreneurs, often feel like breaking at the onset of stress and failure. We tend to  become bankrupt in our journey from giving to others and neglecting our self growth.

See you on the other side of change because I no longer live in contemplation!

Your Mental Fitness Recovery Coach, Business Coach

Ukhtee Walida

 

 

Who is likely to buy?

target-customersOkay, so you basically have thought about who you would like to market to maybe by age, gender, lifestyle, behavior etc.. but have you pinpointed or attempted to at least search for whom among your target market may be most likely to purchase your product/service? This process is called segmenting but on a more focused scale. Market segmenting to a small business owner can be vital to their success. I mean with all of the larger competition surrounding you , it would be wise to decide almost exactly who your customer is. Their are some key areas of segmenting , which if you design your marketing strategy around them , you can begin to see an increase in sales almost immediately! Check out these 5 areas below and use them to get focused on who your customer might be.

  1. Age- instead of a range like 11-18 get specific by saying teenagers in highschool
  2. Gender- instead of saying for ALL, instead specifically target teenage girls in highschool
  3. Lifestyle- What kind of Jewelry do teenage girls in highschool  like to wear(if you are an accesories biz)
  4. Geographics/Location/Weather- What do teenage girls in highschool, who live upstate NY, prefer  to wear in the Fall( ie.short, waist length jean jackets, light weight hijabs etc…)
  5. Behavior-   Do your customers care about prestige, what’s trending?  What kind of clothing do they like to purchase during the holidays?(colors, materials/fabric etc..)

For further explanation, a customer is not just someone who conveniently comes in to buy a few things from you but your customer is one who is willing and able( they have access to disposable income) to purchase your product or service because it fulfills a need or solves some problem they may be experiencing. Appreciate ALL purchases but take care of your customers because they are the ones keeping you in business! They trust that they can exclusively buy from you and they are consistently buying from you. Is your customer just 1  person ? The answer is NO! Your customer is a group of individuals that count on you to serve them. They are buying solutions they really don’t and should not be expected to understand the struggles you endure to get your product on the market or your service delivered. Work to develop a relationship with all who purchase from your biz whether they decide to buy or not. People often remember HOW THEY WERE TREATED. Its an emotion that drives action on all levels!

P.S. See you on the other side of change because I am no longer living in contemplation!

Your Mental Fitness and Business Coach,

Ukhtee Walida

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s Work Together!

challenge3:30 pm on Sunday December 25, 2016 I sat at my kitchen table and got a BIG IDEA! I thought about how so many women are stuck trying to market their businesses and just wanted to genuinely help. I and my friend and co -host, Jumuat Kenchi of Jdiza Clothing found at http://www.instgram.com/jdiza_clothing_co,started a challenge on facebook to help promote sister businesses around the globe allowing for customers to readily buy their products.  Each week we will feature businesses in a certain category. This week we are featuring businesses that sell clothing/accessories. If you have a biz or know anyone who has one encourage them to post it on the event page . I also ask that you share the event page with at least 10 of your friends! Please Go Check it out at https://www.facebook.com/events/630546480463585/

small-biz-support

P.S. See you on the other side of change because I no longer live in contemplation! You have what it takes to succeed all by The Creators Permission and Will. Let’s Get It!! When YOU WIN I WIN!!!

Ukhtee Walida-Your Mental Fitness and Business Coach