Sooooo….. Why not become an author?

become an author

jennahameenahhow i foundmnuslijuwsaidah

Just a few sister authors that inspire me!

 

Here are just a few amazing benefits of becoming and author!

  1. You inspire others: People live to hear stories of tragedy to triumph. You unconsciously give them permission to break the cycle of madness in their life and finally begin reclaiming themselves for a better life.
  2. You put Bling on your personal brand: Your book acts as an ad for your personal brand.  It’s the bling for your brand!
  3. Instant credibility almost all of the time: People dig authors and trust them.
  4. Your book is like content marketing on instant: Digital marketers say that content marketing is one of the best ways to attract traffic. Guess what? Your book is the content!
  5. People don’t just throw away books: People keep books! They like to have a book to read or refer to for specific information on hand. Your book now re-markets at no extra cost!
  6. Opportunities for Speaking Engagements: Your book can open up opportunities for you in the form of speaking engagements. You are viewed as the expert so they want to hear from you!
  7. Doing business just becomes easier now: Sending a copy of your book to a perspective client can “break the ice” when you are negotiating business. Make sure to autograph it!
  8. Press & Media Coverage: Comments from experts are what journalists look for when writing about a hot industry topic. You are basically perceived as the expert so they will need you. Authors are automatically perceived as experts!
  9. The One Investment That Pays You Back Over and Over: It does cost time and money to get your book published but it’s the best investment with the best return. Your bank account gets fat and opportunities start flowing like a stream. Sleep Dollars is the name I give it!

Check out my Podcast series “Muslimah Bossin While Raising The Next Generation” every Saturday at 12 pm to here inspiration, motivation through classes and interviews from other Boss Moms around the globe to help you in your journey to become a successful Boss Mom! Visit www.Soundcloud.com to hear previous episodes. This Month in honor of Domestic Violence awareness I am interviewing sister authors to bring awareness to writing as therapy to heal from the wounds of domestic abuse.

You can also stop by Amazon and order my book “Motivated Muslimah: Permission to Win” to begin reclaiming your energy and motivation as you journey towards becoming the best version of you! You can also go to http://www.createspace.com/7388562 and type “mmp2win” in the password field to order a copy. mmpermission2win book cover

With Love and Peaceful Journeys,

Ukhtee Walida~ “The Boss Moms Coach”

7 Steps to Completing What You Start

mmpermission2win book coverIf you are like I was about 5 years ago and still a a work in progress, you start hundreds of projects and never finish any of them. You become frustrated and just hopeless!  I remember when I said I was going to write 3 books and could hardly start writing one to only find myself 5 years later actually completing it and publishing it! Alhamdulilah(All Praise is Due to Allah) This was such a relief after having picked up the manuscript over a thousand times only to put it down just as many times. Does this sound like you? You don’t have to continue feeling overwhelmed because there are proven ways to help you out of this frustrating cycle. Allow me to share what helped me to transition into starting and finishing whatever project or task I have on my plate. Here are 7 steps to completing what you start.

Hold on because the first thing you should know is that the trick to finishing what you start is actually about how you start as opposed to the fact that you have kids demanding your attention and a ton of mom and wife duties plus everything else in between! I know you are saying “what in the world”? But yes it really is all min how you start.  Now let me proceed with the 7 steps!

  1. Make the decision to actually finish before you even get started! Make a dua(short supplication) to Allah(God) asking Him to keep you guided and on track! (Ex: In 2014 after divorce from my husband of 15 years I finally made the comittment to Just Do It! I asked Allah to keep me on track and to never allow me to give up!)
  2. Create an actionable plan. A plan without action is a plan to fail or better yet just a party in your own head! Don’t waste all that time brainstorming and creating ways to reach your goal just to do nothing. It’s a great dis service to your self and to those whom you could be serving with your finished product!(Ex: I hired a writing coach since this was part of the plan.  She helped me put together a writing plan and gave tremendous support to me in my times of hopelessness. You can find her on Facebook at Subhanah Wahhaj. She is the author of  the phenomenal book “How I Found Myself in Egypt”, the CEO of a self publishing company called “The Write Patch”, and the daughter of Imam, Siraj Wahhaj of Masjid At Taqwa in Brooklyn, New York)
  3. Identify and Avoid distractions. You simply have to know that as a Boss Mom you will face many distractions but the key to avoiding them is to identify what they are , plan how you will manage it, and schedule a specific time when you can work on your task or project. You almost always have to be flexible but make sure that you discuss your schedule with your children if they are old enough to understand so that they can at least accept your turn-downs to their requests temporarily with some ease.  For mommies with little ones I suggest you take 15 minute blocks of time and do as much as you can until the timer runs out. (Ex: I had children ages 7-14 so it was just a matter of me discussing my plan to write a book and that at certain times they could not bother me unless it was an emergency. If they really wanted my attention but it was not an emergency I asked them to write it down and put it in my basket on top of my desk. Oh my! Sometimes I had to stop suddenly if they were arguing and fighting with each other and that would just make me put it away and com back when things cooled down. You know what it’s like right?smile!
  4. Get started and don’t attach yourself to the outcome! Embrace the detours and bumps and enjoy the process! Everything will not go as planned or it will then when you get to the end something else will happen. Just know that attaching yourself to the outcome is a huge waste of time because you just don’t have control over that part, only Allah does!(Ex: I had to just get started without looking back and despite all my fears! On day 1 and part of day 2 I wrote the objective of my book, who my target audience was going to be, and my outline)
  5. Define the time in which you want to finish what you start. Attach a date to the plans in step 2. Without a date I have to say you are just gonna keep ending up where you started so it’s like you never even started at all or you just keep starting over driving yourself insane! Who wants a headache?(Ex: I planned to have the objective and outline done within 3 days so I plugged in the date 3 days from when I started)
  6. Complete as opposed to finish by sharing your journey, saving your work for future use, and giving back. I know that once you write a book it’s so rewarding to share and help others to do the same!  It’s a product that pays you over and over without any extra effort and gives a solution to your ideal readers! I don’t recommend that you just finish something to say you finished it because the thought of completing any other project will appear as a nightmare to you. You want to enjoy the process so that you don’t choose giving up as an option when starting your next project. Keep the momentum rolling as much as you can. (Ex: Now that I have completed my book and published it I am sharing it and some of what happened in my journey, as planned, with the world through podcasts, social media, workshops etc… I really ended up enjoying the process but I will be real with you…I had to arrive at this mindset by resetting my thoughts about my journey since I was also going through a personal healing journey. I don’t recommend you do the same! When you start any project self care should be #1 on your list of actionable plans since you need you to complete your project or task) Click here to purchase Motivated Muslimah:Permission to Win and start your journey to become the best you!
  7. Celebrate your success! A small reward for yourself(manicure, pedicure, take a walk etc…) I have not figured out this one yet but it is very important!

Stay on board my journey, take advantage of all Herspiring Bizness’s upcoming courses, get updates on all events, and get access to tips and resources paid and free by subscribing to “HB’s List of Boss Mom’s” below!

 

Peaceful Success,

Boss Moms Coach, Ukhtee Walida

3 Productivity Hacks for Boss Mommies

600-00934319If you are anything like me then you know what it is to sit in front of your laptop ready to just get a few minutes in in order to check off some  biz tasks that you have scheduled for the day then suddenly interrupted by a screaming baby, a nagging teenager, a phone ringing, your 8 year old teying to get your attention by shoving his toy in your face, the adthan calling etc… It’s like the storm before the calm instead the other way around. This is the madness that happens as a Boss Mommy! What do we do to get through it all and still achieve our daily goals? Well I decided to share with you 3 productivity hacks that I have used to “Get It Done” despite the mom madness! Sometimes you want to give up but that won’t do any good so let’s just pull those abaya(outer garment for Muslim women) sleeves up and get going!

Here are the hacks I promised you:

1. Jot down the 5 salat(prayers) and then plan your day around them. This way you are not missing prayers and trying to quickly do tasks around the time to pray or doing anything that would get in the way of your prayers.

2. Schedule tasks by priority. Put the most important stuff at the top of your list first. Allah, husband, yourself, children, your biz. You can give each your undivided attention if you plan ahead, however, you have to know that nothing will go the way you plan all of the time. Be flexible! Sometimes you will have to drop everything your doing to deal with sibling rivalry between your teenage daughters/sons or to read to your toddler that keeps hitting you  in the arm with their “Thomas the Tank Engine” or some other child story book! Embrace the mom madness, if you will!

3. Kick the guilt and figure out a another way to get it done if you have tried one way over  and over and still keep getting the same results! Do what you can in the time frame you give yourself. You are almost never going to get everything accomplished on your to-do list! When the same madness keeps appearing you have to take a step back and identify some things that you are doing. Ask yourself “is this productive or am I just being busy”? Oh and by the way… Your kids can almost smell when you are being productive vs. when you are being busy so don’t tell them you are doing something important unless you really are! Just wait for it! They will be calm until you start doing some real important stuff. Girl, it’s always the opposite!!! smile!

 

Keep doing your boss thang and don’t give up momma! You got this! Learning to be productive is a skill set that is very valuable to your business and personal life!

Start Where You Are,

Your Coach,

Ukhtee Walida

You Are Stronger Than You Think

You know those days when you just feel like giving up but something keeps you going? It’s like everything has gone wrong and nothing better can replace it, no matter what, but you keep getting back up. Well I know that feeling too and it is very normal. It’s just a part of who we are. We want to succeed at everything we do!

On the other hand,  for some of us,as soon as it looks like failure is coming our way we try to dodge it by giving up. This is normal too! This could work but I will tell you that it will make you feel even worse every time you come to this point in your journey since you never resolved it.

As mothers we put expectations on just about everything, even ourselves and when the expectations are not met we start to “lose it” and sabotage our future creative thoughts. We must realize that failure is a part of success. It allows us to go back to our plans to tweak and improve them for better results the next time. Oh and there will be a next time as long as we are living the next day so don’t try to escape girl.

Since when have you not stood back up and tried something again in your life? I would think we weren’t human if we didn’t! Think about when you were a child and you tried so hard to do something and did not give up because you were so determined. Better yet, think about your own child or children. Doesn’t it make you feel good when they finally master something they tried so hard to master? It’s like you knew they could do it even though they kept failing so you kept cheering them on even when it almost looked like they would never get it!

I believe that we are so much stronger than we think when we really look back at all those experiences we had up until now.  We kept getting back up even though, at times, the world seemed like it was falling on our shoulders. Girl, stop fooling yourself, you are so much stronger than you think.

You’ve made it through the toughest of days and sometimes even asked yourself “How did I do that?” Oh and when other people say “I don’t know how you do it”? You start feeling like superwoman on the inside. Let’s keep it real you are so much stronger than you think.

Don’t limit yourself to your failures you are not a failure. You will meet bumps in the road and have to find other ways to go. Keep going until you find what works best for you! And remember, just because everything seems impossible it does not mean you run,  but that you forgive yourself, stand tall with confidence, start where you are, finish where you want to be, and acknowledge your strength because, after all, you are stronger than you think!

 

Get Rid of Toxic People!

People who are miserable love company because it allows them to complain about the things they actually can do something about. They just need an ear that will listen to their cries and allow them to choose suffering instead of healing. Some people just want to call upon you because they want to keep a piece of your positivity with them to make them feel normal. They have to say something negative about what you are doing so that they can feel good about themselves. I am not talking about those folks who are struggling with life situations and come to you to seek sincere advice or help because they value the relationship rather I am talking about those who just don’t want to see you succeed at whatever you are seeking to achieve.

Tips to get rid of those who are toxic:
1. Become unavailable to anyone who seems to always complain about what’s not happening in their life when you share the exciting things that have been happening in your life . It’s a TRAP! You are doing more harm to them when you make yourself available for their complaints. You are not giving them the push they really need to make anything happen you are just giving them the easy way out. If you care about them let them know that you are quite busy and that you think they have everything they need to find a solution to whatever it is they are going through and to pray and be patient. If you can stick in there try to help them come up with a plan to fix their situation then go for it! If they seem resistant then back off and let them be. Pray for them. God will send someone else who is more qualified. You and that person are not on the same page so things will start to frustrate you and then you may end up giving up what you truly want because they have drained you. You don’t need all of that negative energy!

2. Tune out the sarcasm – When people make sarcastic comments about your goals and dreams they just don’t believe in you and could care less if you become successful. In fact they would rather you not become successful so they could have something to be RIGHT about for their own misconceptions about becoming successful. When someone says something sarcastic and you find it hard to just shake it off say “Thank You” with a big darn smile and walk away telling them to have a great day! It’s one of those “kill them with kindness” methods that leaves that person looking real foolish when it’s all said and done.

3. Choose who you share your vision with- You are ultimately the only one who can see your vision clearly and will be the only one to see it manifested. Those who don’t believe in you won’t care about it. They will tell you it’s foolish and totally impossible. They will laugh at you and tell you what they think you should be doing. They say things like “IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SOMEBODY ELSE IS NOT DOING THE SAME THING, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME, JUST FORGET ABOUT IT, YOU’RE CRAZY ETC…
All of these comments are toxic and come out of the mouth of the toxic person. TUNE THEM OUT TOTALLY!!!

4. Beware of those individuals who want you to “play small” or “dim your light”! These folks just want you to make them feel comfortable in their fears and in their insecurities. Don’t let them do this! Be you! If they cannot handle all of that light you have coming from you then they will have to move on! Why should you compromise who you truly are just to make somebody feel good with not wanting to do the same for themselves? It;s not your fault that they want to stay in stuck mode! You actually are doing them a favor by being you because it just might be enough to give them the permission they need to be their authentic self!

5. Value yourself if you want others to do the same. You teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself!

To Do or Not To Do!


Many of us become overwhelmed at the thought of organizing and writing down our daily/weekly/monthly tasks and give in to just trying to remember what we have to do in our minds. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! If you are like me, that just doesn’t work for very long. You start to rely too much on your poor brain and your brain begins to fail you making you forget all the necessary and important tasks that you needed to complete. When this happens constantly it begins to play upon your emotions and you start becoming discouraged and dis-empowered to really take action towards achieving your goals. In some cases people have reported that they just feel like they are a failure because they may have missed so many opportunities to grow their business due to their forgetfulness. They were supposed to meet with the owner of a company that they really wanted to network with because they saw an opportunity. They made the call wrote down the date to meet with the CEO and when the day came they were out having lunch with a colleague when they realized they had an appointment. They realize that it is too late and fear calling to apologize so they end up “throwing the towel in” and beating themselves up for not remembering that they had a very important appointment.

Don’t give up just yet! You are among many who want to just remember what they have to do instead of writing it down. We live in an age of technology and hardly anyone creates to do lists the old fashioned way. Grab your phone or laptop and try one of these 5 apps to help you get your to-do list going;
1. GOOGLE KEEP
https://keep.google.com/
2.ANY.DO
http://www.any.do/anydo
3. WUNDERLIST
http://wunderlist.com/
4. TODOIST
http://todoist.com/
5. HABITRPG
https://habitrpg.com/static/front

If you really are just into writing things down then I suggest you start using sticky notes. I have found it to be just as effective as going digital!

Side Note: When you complete your to-do’s in a timely fashion it boosts your self confidence and propels you to take more ACTION!

Relationships and Solutions=More Business

building-relationshipsProspecting is definitely a game of numbers. You must constantly reach out to new potential clients to ensure you are closing enough business every month. According to research, if you are not closing at least one new client monthly, then you are not reaching out to enough people! Don’t just reach out to anyone! Know who your potential client is. Build a relationship with them and get to know them before you try to figure out what problems they may have, real or perceived, that you are ready to provide a solution for? My experience is that the more you try to connect with people the more they will open up to you. They will tell you their problems if you just listen.

There are two factors that must exist in order to move your prospects to the side of clients and they are relationship building and problem solving.  I touched a little on relationship building above. You must also have unique solutions in the opportunities you present to your prospects.  Your prospects have to feel that you are personally offering them the solution they need to fix their pain. Don’t view pain as something negative but know that it is inevitable on all levels and that the prospect who has chosen to not suffer their pain is actively looking to buy a solution. You are not selling your product or service , you are selling solutions. Think, “I sell solutions”, and you will gain more clients. In business it is wise to list what pain points your potential clients may have. Pain points are those situations or problems whether real or perceived that your potential clients find hard to cope with and surely need a way out.  They are searching for solutions to solve their pain points.

A few years agoi, when I started out in my coaching business, I had a client in Dubai that was a Doula . Her goal was to start her own practice instead of working for someone else . We chatted for hours via facebook messenger and then for a few days more before she actually became my client. I was building a relationship with her so that she would not only open up to me but with hopes that I could get her from where she was to exactly where she wanted to be. I needed her to be completely honest with herself more than anything. I also needed to hear where she might need help. I was not quite ready to jump into any coaching until i understood more about her goals and any obstacles she may have been facing. I would ask her a lot of self discovery questions and questions about her goals. I asked her how she thought a life coach could be of help in her journey to achieve her goal of starting her own Doula practice.  She was a little reluctant at first but I pointed her in the direction of others who became successful after hiring a life coach and she was sold! I told her exactly what to expect from my end and she nearly cried, typing emojis with tears! We began our coaching relationship right away! Now that she was my client I really poured into her! I simply asked her what were some real situations in which a woman would need a Doula and how she could uniquely provide the solutions. I asked her to describe a real scenario and provide a real solution. After doing some research to find out why pregnant women would hire a Doula, starting a support group for pregnant women, surveying a few pregnant women in her  current job and in her community, and tapping into her own experiences, she immediately and clearly realized that she had to see herself in business as a provider of solutions. This lead to messaging sometimes at 2 am to let me know that she was gaining new clients and felt so relieved and excited! She mentioned that they felt very comfortable and would stay in her office for very long periods of time, causing her to get home later than expected! Well I did not want her to continue getting home late and missing out on her family time, since she was a new mother, so I also took the opportunity to engage her in some time management activities. I was determined to offer her solutions in all areas of her life. I was simply suggesting ways for her to improve and move towards where she truly wanted to be. The relationship went well and she is now in her own practice. I have not heard from her since 2 years ago but  I hope all is good.

It is my hope that you truly realized how I practiced relationship building and problem solving to get my client from suspect, to prospect, to eventually being my client and how I uniquely suggested that she practice the same method in gaining clients of her own.

 

Try to learn your customer in terms of the Pain Points they may be experiencing. Recognize these Pain Points by asking questions and carefully listening. Here are a few ideas:

  • Imagine a day in the life of your potential client
    What problem does your product or service uniquely address?
  • Ask current your current clients about their lifestyles and goals
    How do they actually perceive themselves or how satisfied are they with their lives?
  • Ask customers what empowers them – and what doesn’t.
    Find out what your potential client is really in need of
  • What is the true source of  your potential client’s pain?
    Sometimes, you’ll will have to read between the lines and listen past the impulsive requests
  • What potential client will see the most value in having pain removed?
    These will be your committed clients
  • Who will ultimately buy your solution?
    The end user of your product/service is not always the one who pays! Some examples are Children/ Parents or Teacher/Student

P.S. See you on the other side of change because I no longer live in contemplation!

Ukhtee Walida- Your Mental Fitness and Business Coach