You Are Stronger Than You Think

You know those days when you just feel like giving up but something keeps you going? It’s like everything has gone wrong and nothing better can replace it, no matter what, but you keep getting back up. Well I know that feeling too and it is very normal. It’s just a part of who we are. We want to succeed at everything we do!

On the other hand,  for some of us,as soon as it looks like failure is coming our way we try to dodge it by giving up. This is normal too! This could work but I will tell you that it will make you feel even worse every time you come to this point in your journey since you never resolved it.

As mothers we put expectations on just about everything, even ourselves and when the expectations are not met we start to “lose it” and sabotage our future creative thoughts. We must realize that failure is a part of success. It allows us to go back to our plans to tweak and improve them for better results the next time. Oh and there will be a next time as long as we are living the next day so don’t try to escape girl.

Since when have you not stood back up and tried something again in your life? I would think we weren’t human if we didn’t! Think about when you were a child and you tried so hard to do something and did not give up because you were so determined. Better yet, think about your own child or children. Doesn’t it make you feel good when they finally master something they tried so hard to master? It’s like you knew they could do it even though they kept failing so you kept cheering them on even when it almost looked like they would never get it!

I believe that we are so much stronger than we think when we really look back at all those experiences we had up until now.  We kept getting back up even though, at times, the world seemed like it was falling on our shoulders. Girl, stop fooling yourself, you are so much stronger than you think.

You’ve made it through the toughest of days and sometimes even asked yourself “How did I do that?” Oh and when other people say “I don’t know how you do it”? You start feeling like superwoman on the inside. Let’s keep it real you are so much stronger than you think.

Don’t limit yourself to your failures you are not a failure. You will meet bumps in the road and have to find other ways to go. Keep going until you find what works best for you! And remember, just because everything seems impossible it does not mean you run,  but that you forgive yourself, stand tall with confidence, start where you are, finish where you want to be, and acknowledge your strength because, after all, you are stronger than you think!

 

Get Rid of Toxic People!

People who are miserable love company because it allows them to complain about the things they actually can do something about. They just need an ear that will listen to their cries and allow them to choose suffering instead of healing. Some people just want to call upon you because they want to keep a piece of your positivity with them to make them feel normal. They have to say something negative about what you are doing so that they can feel good about themselves. I am not talking about those folks who are struggling with life situations and come to you to seek sincere advice or help because they value the relationship rather I am talking about those who just don’t want to see you succeed at whatever you are seeking to achieve.

Tips to get rid of those who are toxic:
1. Become unavailable to anyone who seems to always complain about what’s not happening in their life when you share the exciting things that have been happening in your life . It’s a TRAP! You are doing more harm to them when you make yourself available for their complaints. You are not giving them the push they really need to make anything happen you are just giving them the easy way out. If you care about them let them know that you are quite busy and that you think they have everything they need to find a solution to whatever it is they are going through and to pray and be patient. If you can stick in there try to help them come up with a plan to fix their situation then go for it! If they seem resistant then back off and let them be. Pray for them. God will send someone else who is more qualified. You and that person are not on the same page so things will start to frustrate you and then you may end up giving up what you truly want because they have drained you. You don’t need all of that negative energy!

2. Tune out the sarcasm – When people make sarcastic comments about your goals and dreams they just don’t believe in you and could care less if you become successful. In fact they would rather you not become successful so they could have something to be RIGHT about for their own misconceptions about becoming successful. When someone says something sarcastic and you find it hard to just shake it off say “Thank You” with a big darn smile and walk away telling them to have a great day! It’s one of those “kill them with kindness” methods that leaves that person looking real foolish when it’s all said and done.

3. Choose who you share your vision with- You are ultimately the only one who can see your vision clearly and will be the only one to see it manifested. Those who don’t believe in you won’t care about it. They will tell you it’s foolish and totally impossible. They will laugh at you and tell you what they think you should be doing. They say things like “IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SOMEBODY ELSE IS NOT DOING THE SAME THING, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME, JUST FORGET ABOUT IT, YOU’RE CRAZY ETC…
All of these comments are toxic and come out of the mouth of the toxic person. TUNE THEM OUT TOTALLY!!!

4. Beware of those individuals who want you to “play small” or “dim your light”! These folks just want you to make them feel comfortable in their fears and in their insecurities. Don’t let them do this! Be you! If they cannot handle all of that light you have coming from you then they will have to move on! Why should you compromise who you truly are just to make somebody feel good with not wanting to do the same for themselves? It;s not your fault that they want to stay in stuck mode! You actually are doing them a favor by being you because it just might be enough to give them the permission they need to be their authentic self!

5. Value yourself if you want others to do the same. You teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself!

To Do or Not To Do!


Many of us become overwhelmed at the thought of organizing and writing down our daily/weekly/monthly tasks and give in to just trying to remember what we have to do in our minds. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! If you are like me, that just doesn’t work for very long. You start to rely too much on your poor brain and your brain begins to fail you making you forget all the necessary and important tasks that you needed to complete. When this happens constantly it begins to play upon your emotions and you start becoming discouraged and dis-empowered to really take action towards achieving your goals. In some cases people have reported that they just feel like they are a failure because they may have missed so many opportunities to grow their business due to their forgetfulness. They were supposed to meet with the owner of a company that they really wanted to network with because they saw an opportunity. They made the call wrote down the date to meet with the CEO and when the day came they were out having lunch with a colleague when they realized they had an appointment. They realize that it is too late and fear calling to apologize so they end up “throwing the towel in” and beating themselves up for not remembering that they had a very important appointment.

Don’t give up just yet! You are among many who want to just remember what they have to do instead of writing it down. We live in an age of technology and hardly anyone creates to do lists the old fashioned way. Grab your phone or laptop and try one of these 5 apps to help you get your to-do list going;
1. GOOGLE KEEP
https://keep.google.com/
2.ANY.DO
http://www.any.do/anydo
3. WUNDERLIST
http://wunderlist.com/
4. TODOIST
http://todoist.com/
5. HABITRPG
https://habitrpg.com/static/front

If you really are just into writing things down then I suggest you start using sticky notes. I have found it to be just as effective as going digital!

Side Note: When you complete your to-do’s in a timely fashion it boosts your self confidence and propels you to take more ACTION!

Relationships and Solutions=More Business

building-relationshipsProspecting is definitely a game of numbers. You must constantly reach out to new potential clients to ensure you are closing enough business every month. According to research, if you are not closing at least one new client monthly, then you are not reaching out to enough people! Don’t just reach out to anyone! Know who your potential client is. Build a relationship with them and get to know them before you try to figure out what problems they may have, real or perceived, that you are ready to provide a solution for? My experience is that the more you try to connect with people the more they will open up to you. They will tell you their problems if you just listen.

There are two factors that must exist in order to move your prospects to the side of clients and they are relationship building and problem solving.  I touched a little on relationship building above. You must also have unique solutions in the opportunities you present to your prospects.  Your prospects have to feel that you are personally offering them the solution they need to fix their pain. Don’t view pain as something negative but know that it is inevitable on all levels and that the prospect who has chosen to not suffer their pain is actively looking to buy a solution. You are not selling your product or service , you are selling solutions. Think, “I sell solutions”, and you will gain more clients. In business it is wise to list what pain points your potential clients may have. Pain points are those situations or problems whether real or perceived that your potential clients find hard to cope with and surely need a way out.  They are searching for solutions to solve their pain points.

A few years agoi, when I started out in my coaching business, I had a client in Dubai that was a Doula . Her goal was to start her own practice instead of working for someone else . We chatted for hours via facebook messenger and then for a few days more before she actually became my client. I was building a relationship with her so that she would not only open up to me but with hopes that I could get her from where she was to exactly where she wanted to be. I needed her to be completely honest with herself more than anything. I also needed to hear where she might need help. I was not quite ready to jump into any coaching until i understood more about her goals and any obstacles she may have been facing. I would ask her a lot of self discovery questions and questions about her goals. I asked her how she thought a life coach could be of help in her journey to achieve her goal of starting her own Doula practice.  She was a little reluctant at first but I pointed her in the direction of others who became successful after hiring a life coach and she was sold! I told her exactly what to expect from my end and she nearly cried, typing emojis with tears! We began our coaching relationship right away! Now that she was my client I really poured into her! I simply asked her what were some real situations in which a woman would need a Doula and how she could uniquely provide the solutions. I asked her to describe a real scenario and provide a real solution. After doing some research to find out why pregnant women would hire a Doula, starting a support group for pregnant women, surveying a few pregnant women in her  current job and in her community, and tapping into her own experiences, she immediately and clearly realized that she had to see herself in business as a provider of solutions. This lead to messaging sometimes at 2 am to let me know that she was gaining new clients and felt so relieved and excited! She mentioned that they felt very comfortable and would stay in her office for very long periods of time, causing her to get home later than expected! Well I did not want her to continue getting home late and missing out on her family time, since she was a new mother, so I also took the opportunity to engage her in some time management activities. I was determined to offer her solutions in all areas of her life. I was simply suggesting ways for her to improve and move towards where she truly wanted to be. The relationship went well and she is now in her own practice. I have not heard from her since 2 years ago but  I hope all is good.

It is my hope that you truly realized how I practiced relationship building and problem solving to get my client from suspect, to prospect, to eventually being my client and how I uniquely suggested that she practice the same method in gaining clients of her own.

 

Try to learn your customer in terms of the Pain Points they may be experiencing. Recognize these Pain Points by asking questions and carefully listening. Here are a few ideas:

  • Imagine a day in the life of your potential client
    What problem does your product or service uniquely address?
  • Ask current your current clients about their lifestyles and goals
    How do they actually perceive themselves or how satisfied are they with their lives?
  • Ask customers what empowers them – and what doesn’t.
    Find out what your potential client is really in need of
  • What is the true source of  your potential client’s pain?
    Sometimes, you’ll will have to read between the lines and listen past the impulsive requests
  • What potential client will see the most value in having pain removed?
    These will be your committed clients
  • Who will ultimately buy your solution?
    The end user of your product/service is not always the one who pays! Some examples are Children/ Parents or Teacher/Student

P.S. See you on the other side of change because I no longer live in contemplation!

Ukhtee Walida- Your Mental Fitness and Business Coach

Move Like FIYA(Fear is Your Ally)!!!

fearAbout 2 weeks ago I started a facebook community to support, inspire, motivate and empower sisterpreneurs to MAKE IT HAPPEN IN BIZNESS!!! If you are a part of this community or have been stopping by to check us out, then you know what we have been up to lately and you also know how it has been so exciting to watch sisters transform in a matter of days! These sisters are stepping up, showing up, and shining their light! This community is not just your regular facebook group page, well at least we are all working to make sure of that.

Last week I challenged everyone to post a 60 second video about their businesses and it has just been amazing to watch each sister step into their light! Some of them are still contemplating but I just know they are gonna come out of their shell because the high energy is quite contagious! We are all posting inspiration and tips to support one another and one of the things I will begin to do are, live video posts discussing topics related to business and mental fitness. If you are reading this post then perhaps, you are someone who is just waiting for the green light/permission to step into your light! It’s time you own your talents and realize that they were not even given to you FOR YOU but they were given to you because YOU must deliver solutions to others who NEED EXACTLY what you have! Yes you have fears but those fears can actually help you move through to your success if you pay close attention and make them your allies. Know your fears acknowledge them and look for ways to overcome them. If you are not clear on how to do all of this hire a coach. We are pretty good at helping you push through and getting you to truly OWN YOUR SUCCESS!!! Plant your two feet firmly in the ground, put your trust in Allah, get the support you need, challenge yourself, and don’t even think of quitting because It’s time to move like FIYAH(Fear is Your Ally)!!!

“If Allah helps you, none can overcome you: If He forsakes you, who is there, after that, that can help you? In Allah, then, let believers put their trust.” [Qur’an Chapter 3 Verse 160]

See you on the other side of change because I no longer live in contemplation!

Your Mental Fitness Recovery Coach and Business Coachsultant,
Ukhtee Walida-Herspiring Bizness- “It’s Time”