As a personal development coach I seek to help my clients discover their true selves. I want them to stand out-side of who they think they are and eventually say, “wow”! “So this is who I am”!
Self discovery is knowing who you are. When God made us He did not make any mistakes. We are the ones who burden ourselves with doubts about our abilities and negative comments about our appearances. I can tell you that this was me until I discovered that it was crucial to know who i was so that I could be the person I truly am. I would assume that people would think I was weird before giving them a chance to determine that themselves. Most of them loved me for who I was and always wanted to be around me but I just could not see what they saw until I truly looked at myself from the outside.Sounds confusing but it is quite simple. Follow the 4 steps, that I personally followed,to start living the life as who you are and who God created you to be. Believe that you were created with uniqueness.
Step1: Stop Rejecting yourself and Learn to Accept Yourself!
Let others do that for you! Sounds harsh right? I agree but I do know that you want to treat yourself how you want others to treat you. Love who you are and what you represent. If you don’t then who will? We give people the right to reject us when we are constantly putting ourselves down. It is like walking around with a sign on our foreheads that says “Reject Me”! Move out of the zone of creating negative emotional habits and into the zone of creating positive emotional habits.
Begin to accept you for you and who God created you to be. What is important to you is all that matters. In the end of it all, you are the one who is living your life! Keep a close eye on the things that cause you to become doubtful of your abilities and check them at the door! The mirror is not your enemy it is your friend who will look you in the face and tell you what it is seeing directly with no influence. Guard your self acceptance like a precious jewel. It is not your business what others think about you so mind your business and move on!
Step 2. Start enjoying the beautiful person you are.
Give yourself a chance to be you. It is not selfish! It helps you to keep being you! Take time away from the things that stress you the most like bills, husband, children, work, school. You will need this time to remember who you are otherwise you will be eaten alive by all that is around you. Go to the library or bookstore for a quick breather and if you need more time you may want to spend the day with a close friend. As women we feel overwhelmed because we are sometimes afraid to let go and unwind for fear that everything will go wrong and be worse when we return which results in added stress. It will simply defeat the purpose of taking a break altogether,seriously! We must do it so that we could maintain the beautiful people that we are! Treat yourself to some henna, a new garment, a new khimar anything that you could purchase just for you. Others will treat you how you treat yourself-hint for those of us who are married!!!
Step 3. Start living your life according to reality.
It is time to start looking at all you have and thanking Allah for it. It is also important that you do what you can with what you have. I had to start realizing that just because I did not have a job, it did not mean that I could not begin fulfilling my dream of becoming a personal growth expert. I had to look at my skills, education, location, family life, finances and spiritual life etc. I had to use what I had and I did! I am now coaching other women to do the same. I want my clients to believe that they have what it takes and money and prestige is not the determining factor but a destination. Real people don’t acquire true fame unless they start somewhere. They don’t get lucky and they are not just in the right place at the right time. Allah is in control. This the reality. Live knowing that we are not in control and that what is given to us can be token from us and vice versa, without notice! How does this relate to self discovery? It makes us realize that we are who we are because God made us this way. Stop trying to live in a fantasy world and be something you’re not. It won’t last long and will lead to problems later on. “You cannot make something be that is just not”.
Step 4 . I “Coulda”, “shoulda”, “woulda” is only inviting Satan.
Shaytan loves when we think we are in control and practically loose our minds at the very thought of something we did and regretted it later on! Let it go and know that it is what it is. You cannot move on until you do. Sometimes this involves forgiving others or looking for forgiveness and just because neither happens it does not mean that we should “loose it”. Remember God and who He created you to be. Act accordingly! What happens to you good or bad has already been decreed. We experience life’s trials as a test of our own faith and as a way to help others. God is All Powerful and no one has a hand in His power,though many like to think so. He encourages forgiveness. We begin to heal when we forgive those who have wronged us. The “grudge luggage” weighs a ton and no one else can feel all that weight except the one who is carrying it-YOU! It is like banging your toe and expecting the other person to feel the pain you feel.
I hope that you find these steps easy to follow, though I know that change is a process and needs time. I don’t expect you to wake up tomorrow saying “wow”! “I have discovered me finally”, but I would at least expect that you may have started to implement step 1 by creating healthy emotional habits to help you in your mission of self discovery.