As Salaamu Alaykum and Welcome!
It has been a while since I last posted and I do apologize for that. Between marriage and motherhood I barely found time for ME!!! I have started to write a book so that is now taking up my time. Everywhere I go I seem to have my notebook in hand and a book, which I will not reveal until my work is published. This book has helped me tremendously. It is about a woman who devises a plan to show busy women how to stay focused and motivated while writing their book. How ironic!I had some serious fears about writing my book and this book just happened to be on the shelf waiting for me! Allah knows best how and when I will finish writing my book but I am almost confident enough to set a date. Since I know first hand about having this fear I want to share with you some steps that I am taking to give me the push I need to succeed! I put my total trust in Allah and ask for His guidance as I embark this journey and encourage you to do this as well!
Over the next few weeks I will share with you 4 steps to achieve your goals and hold yourself accountable each step of the way. It is my goal to help you see where you are, where you want to go and get there! There will be exercises/activities to help you hold yourself accountable.
1. Define your purpose/goal clearly. Identify and remove self sabotaging thoughts(Kicking the self sabotaging monster to the curb!)
2 Unlock your potential
3. Create and stick to a new habit that will lead you to achieving your goal(It’s a challenge but you are capable!)
4. Take Massive Action(TMA) and prepare for failure(Look at failure as feedback for a better opportunity to sharpen your skills for the next round!)
The following article is about clearly defining your goal/purpose as well as identifying and removing self sabotaging thoughts and words.
1. Clearly define your purpose,set a goal and kick the “self -sabotage” monster!
You must have a clear vision and certainty about where you want to be. It increases the belief you have in yourself to achieve your goals and to get to where you want to be in life!You must be focused on your goal like a pilot is focused on the destination he is headed to.
I lay in my bed about 6 months ago wondering what I could do to help women overcome their fear of failure and began taking some action to achieve desirable goals. I was on a mission to inspire and motivate them to walk toward their success.I have always had a passion to help women overcome their struggles. I am on a mission to inspire them to find their God-given gifts/talents and begin to live a more meaningful life doing what they enjoy. AlI of what I had done was a part of clearly defining my goal/purpose. It is important to be clear on your goals/purpose in order to map out a plan to accomplish them. I began reading about women and speaking to those who shared the same struggles I encountered. I want to provide a place where they could find inspiration and motivation to heal from their struggles and change their lives for the better . I started a pilot project on facebook to see if anyone would be interested in the idea and shortly after ,Her BIZness was born.
Activity#-1- Set a goal that is attainable and achievable.Write down something that you would like to change about your current situation as it pertains to your career, business, relationship, religion etc.. Write down specifically what you feel, what your attitude is, how it conflicts with your beliefs and/or morals and if it is/has caused you to have a lack of respect for those in authority over you in respect to those circumstances. This will help you define your purpose. Having a clear purpose gives us help when setting goals. We really can’t pinpoint when,where or what we will accomplish goals because we can only realize the present. The future is not forseeable. If you set a goal that you can look at today and it improves the quality of your present moment of reality then it would probably make you feel much more comfortable with working towards achieving it. There is much room for expansion but, again, that is in the future and not forseeable, although it can be imagined!
The Sabotage Monster Needs the Boot!!!
I struggled in my childhood and in my adulthood with trying to just be “ME” and felt very unsupported. I often became discouraged and lacked the motivation to finish anything I started because I feared that I was not good enough. I would say things like “there are so many people doing what I want to do”,” No one will even notice me”,”I did not finish pursuing my college degree”, “What will people think of me”, and “I don’t think I have much to offer”! These words may sound familiar to you also. These words are part of a conversation that many people have with themselves. It is called self sabotaging and more people than you could ever imagine are victims of it. It is those harsh critiquing words we say to ourselves that validate the excuses we have for not focusing and doing what we really desire to do. If you want a better relationship with your spouse you may have to get rid of the thought that “you are not worth it” or “it is never going to change”, in order to begin moving in the direction you want. Hold yourself accountable for what you say! The point I am making is that you have to kick the negative talk and start using the positive talk! I did this much later on in life and even though the results were not what I expected ,I now feel much more confident,capable and motivated to begin my journey living the life I want to live.
Activity# 2-Write down some things that you like about yourself and post it where you can see it. Say these positive statements about yourself while looking in the mirror daily. Statements like “I am very successful”, “I have what it takes to make a difference”, or “I am an author” It is definitely a challenge but worth it in removing doubts about your ability to achieve your goals in life. If it does not work then you get to keep your self -sabotaging monster for free-no financial obligation attached, but I can almost guarantee that you will love yourself even more and feel motivated to do more!
Stay Tuned for Part 2…Unlocking your potential(Believing in yourself)